The Gourmet Omelet

We recently had a friend from out of town drop in and spend several nights with us. Now Barb has a good heart, but she has more energy than a Barrel full of Beagle puppies. Spending even one hour with her requires as much energy as competing in a triathlon . She is a "flitterer." Her feet, hands and mouth are always in perpetual motion.

On the bright side you never have to worry about finding something interesting to talk to her about. It's impossible to interject more than a single word or two before she takes the lead and carries the full conversation on her side. It's a bit like trying to talk to a radio that's tuned to non-stop talk shows.

Oh, and she is a "follower." You can't get away from her, wherever you go she is right on your heels chattering away. I've tried escaping and locking myself in the bathroom, but she stands outside the door blabbering like a rapid fire machine gun. It's ok, it's just terribly wearing.

Her perpetual prattling finally stops when we convince her to trot upstairs so we can get some sleep. Because we live on a ranch our days begin at 5:30 am and stop about 10pm. I don't think Barb has an off switch, but after saying "good night" to her 8 or 10 times she finally relents and retreats to her room.

On the other hand, I think her days of perpetual motion do take their toll on her too, because she sleeps in late. She always has. As I said, we get up at 5:30am and start our day. Barb's day starts around 10:30 or 11:00. Because we get up early we eat breakfast early, so Barb misses that meal.

During her last visit, as is my custom I leave food for her in the refrigerator and put on a fresh pot of coffee for her about 10 am. That generally works well. However we apparently crossed wires on the last morning of her visit.

Here's what happened: For some odd reason Barb got up early that morning. She was in the kitchen by about 8am. I told her we had eaten, but that there was plenty of things in the refrigerator for her to make an omelet out of, and then I quickly ran out the door to do some chores.

When I came back in Barb was sitting at the table eating her omelet, so I poured a cup of coffee for myself and joined her. She beamed and said "This is the best omelet I've ever eaten...Thank you!"

After a few minutes I told her I had more chores to do outside (actually I needed to find some peace and quiet) so I stood and took my cup to the sink. Now here is where it gets interesting. To the left of my sink I keep a bowl of scraps from the previous days meals which I feed to the chickens and the hog the next day. As I poured the remains of my coffee in the sink I notice that bowl was empty and sitting in the sink.

I turned slowly to look at Barb who was just downing the last bite of her omelet. As she chewed she again said how incredible it was. She said it was every bit as good as you'd expect to receive at a gourmet restaurant.

I smiled weakly and asked her what all she put in it... when she said she had used the bowl on the counter that held the scraps from OUR omelet I about died. I picked the bowl out of the sink and said "This bowl?" My expression must have given me away because she apologetically said "Oh I hope it was ok to use those... You weren't saving them for yourself were you?"

All I could do was smile and say "No no, not at all, I'm glad you enjoyed it." After all, how do you tell your guest she had just eaten the pigs food ?