The Boot Stompin' Boogie!

Generally we go out just as it is getting dark and lock all our animals in their pens, coops, or stalls respectively to protect them from the weather and predators. Unfortunately we slipped up a bit last night. We could blame the oversight on a lot of things, but my choice for the fall guy is the mailman.

You see, the mailman is the logical choice for scapegoat because yesterday afternoon he dropped off the latest DVD from Netflix. In order to have time to watch it we stopped our normal routine and had dinner a bit early.

After dinner we plopped a large glop of Vanilla Bean ice cream into two bowls, suffocated it with bananas, hot fudge topping and copious amounts of whipped cream and nestled in front of the t.v. to watch the DVD.

It was our intention to watch the DVD for about a half hour then dash out and settle the animals for the evening. However we became completely absorbed in the DVD and didn't realize we had neglected to properly secure the animals until it was over. The title of the DVD was (and it's critical that you remember this) Jane Goodall's When Animals Talk.

It was not until the DVD ended an hour an a half later and I was rinsing the ice cream dishes in the sink that I suddenly remembered we had shirked our evening chores. We were both relaxed and the thought of trudging out in the cold darkness didn't appeal to either of us. None the less, we slipped into our jackets, grabbed flashlights and strolled outside.

To expedite the chores we split the duties. Bruce went off in one direction and I went in the other. My first stop was the Goose coop. Now the Goose coop is a converted horse barn. The back side has a door that is large enough for a standard horse to pass though, and the front has a Dutch Door which can be opened either on the top or the bottom. We generally leave the large door on the back side open for the Geese to come and go as they please and keep the Dutch door closed.

I walked around to the back side of the coop and closed the large door. As I did I detected the unmistakable sent of a skunk. I quickly shined my flashlight around the outside of the coop and was relieved not to spot one.

Next I secured the chickens and then moved on to a second duck and Guinea Hen coop. As I moved about between the coops I carefully directed the beam of the flashlight ahead of me so as not to walk up unsuspectingly on the skunk, whose order was becoming more and more intense.

Bruce finished his chores and came back to where I was and asked where the skunk was. I told him I had no idea but it was obviously very close. We began to backtrack and finally decided the scent was strongest around the Goose Coop.

We walked cautiously around the outside of the coop and saw nothing but the scent continued to grow stronger. Finally I opened the top section of the double Dutch Door on the front side and to my surprise there was the skunk INSIDE the coop, locked in with the geese.

Amazingly the geese didn't seem to be distressed by the presence of a skunk mingling with them. Not surprisingly, I was.

Bruce suggested that I close the top section of the Dutch door and open the bottom and maybe the skunk would simply walk out. Note here that he suggested that I open the door. Meanwhile he backtracked about 10 or so feet.

Other than me being the designated door opener, I couldn't see much wrong with the plan so that is what I did. As Bruce predicted, the skunk casually strolled out the bottom section of the door.... and stopped on my right foot. Amazingly it just stood there perched on my foot sniffing the air. It was one of those moments when you are just positive your head will explode from the rush of adrenalin. I was paralyzed with fear, which I suppose was a good thing because moving would doubtlessly have caused the skunk to spray.

Bruce,who was still about 10 feet away and couldn't see what was going on grew impatient.
"Did it come out yet?" he called.
When I didn't answer he added "Well what's going on? Just leave the door open and come out here with me you don't have to stand there!"

When I still didn't respond Bruce took a few steps forward and shined his flashlight directly in my face. (That helped.) I inclined my head slightly in the direction of my foot but the slight movement went unnoticed so I let out a high pitched whine though clinched lips and teeth. The skunk, still standing on my foot remained totally oblivious to me.

Bruce, who still hadn't spotted the skunk, was obviously becoming irritated with me.
Finally he said "Well, ok just stand there if you want. I'm tired. I'm going to go in and go to bed."

Without moving my lips or any other portion of my body I managed to squeak out "Foot! Look! Foot"

Bruce apparently wasn't able to hear or understand me because his reply was "Ok, well I guess I'll see you in a bit."

"NO" I hissed though clinched teeth "Help Me! FOOT!"

Finally he shone his flashlight down at my foot and burst out laughing. He's always such a big help when I get in these unbelievable predicaments.

"Ahh I see" he smirked "well tell you what" he said " You use the skills you just learned from the Jane Goodall DVD to talk to it while I go get the gun"

I could hear him chuckling as he walked toward the house.

Great, now I had two fears. The first obvious one was being sprayed point blank by the skunk. The second was trying to figure out what on earth Bruce would do when he returned with a gun? Did he actually plan to shoot the skunk off my foot? No thank you!

The more I thought about it the more I decided my chances of survival were better with the skunk than with Bruce trying to blast the little bugger off my foot .

I stood there with the skunk still on my foot and with sweat rolling down my back contemplating my choices. Skunk? Gun? Skunk? Gun?

When I heard Bruce's footfalls crunching on the pathway leading back to the goose coop and I panicked. I jerked my foot out from under the skunk and yelled "Shoo Skunk Go! Get Out Of Here!

Now I really need to know...do skunks take tranquilizers? The reason I ask is because the skunk seemed totally unperturbed at being rousted off my foot. It actually just stood there looking up at me..Again considering my choices between skunk spray and bullet spray, I jumped back about 2 feet and started stomping my feet in the manner of a "Boot Stompin" Boogie."

This seemed to amuse the skunk because it stood there watching me for a few seconds before turning and strolling causally out toward the woods.

When Bruce reached the goose coop he was carrying the .22 rifle . I silently said a prayer thanking the Lord that it wasn't the shotgun.

When he noticed I was free of the skunk he grinned and said "So apparently you and the skunk had an amiable conversation?"

I shut the bottom half of the Dutch Door and said "I told him that if he had any respect at all for human beings he'd leave before you blew my foot off."


Side note: If you haven't seen it yet, take the time to watch: Jane Goodall's When Animals Talk
If you are an animal lover you will gain insight into your animal friends. If you don't like animals watch it anyway. It's an eye opener.