A Baaaad Mooove

The pasture area on our little ranch is divided into 4 sections. There are 2 sections to the left of our driveway and 2 sections on the right. In order to keep the pasture from getting overly grazed we occasionally rotate our livestock from one section to another.

To do this we place two heavy green livestock panels at about midpoint on the driveway and chain them together. This blocks the lower portion of the driveway and keeps the stock from running out onto the road. There is a metal gate at the top of the driveway closest to the house that we close. With both ends blocked, it creates a sort of alleyway for the stock to use during their transition from one side to the other.

Once the driveway is blocked at both ends we simply open the gate on one of the pasture sections and then open another gate on the opposite side. Since our livestock adhere to the old adage "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence," things generally go very smoothly.

Unfortunately here is what happened last night.

We have five new lambs on pasture with our young bull. Since the lambs are new to the ranch we knew they wouldn't know how to rotate pastures smoothly, but we hoped that they would follow the bull, who is a veteran at playing the game of pasture rotation.

That was not entirely a wrong assumption. The problem was that one of us (and I'm not owning up to anything here) neglected to shut the upper gate. I spotted the error about the same time the bull did. Why he chose to run up the driveway instead of crossing the alleyway to the new pasture is a mystery to me...but that is what he did.

Before I had a chance to react he ran as fast as he could up the driveway toward the house. He was bellowing and kicking his heels in the air and I knew the game was afoot. Now he is not an overly aggressive bull, but when dealing with large animals with horns and hormones it always a good idea to heed to caution.

Bruce and I had been tucked safely behind the panels at the lower end of the driveway but I managed to squeeze around them. I was thinking I could get to the gate and swing it shut before the bull got to it. Now I know from past experience that I can't outrun that bull, so what made me think I could was pure insanity. By the time I was neck and neck with the bull I realized that I had made yet another dumb move. Fortunately he was more intent on getting through the forbidden gate than he was on slamming me to the ground so he just gave a few shakes of his head in my direction and kept running.

He of course made it to the gate ahead of me, but I kept going thinking I could at least close it before the five lambs reached it . That too was a thought gone totally astray. My good intentions were unfortunately about five lambs too slow. Suddenly a billowing cloud of baaahing dust past me and charged though the gate.

In less than a blink of an eye we had a bull and five lambs running ramped across our manicured lawn and munching on my prize roses, day lilies, sweet Williams and a vast buffet of other floral delicacies.

By the time I reached the gate my husband, Bruce was by my side. As I stood with my hands on my hips he calmly walked up and said "now what?" Now he knows all my plans have a way of sliding sideways, and yet he always turns to me to come up with a solid plan.

When I turned around the 6 renegades mowing machines were scattering in all directions. On the bright side the upper area around the house is contained behind 6' wire fencing so we knew they couldn't go anyplace else. On the not so bright side there is a gravel driveway that completely encompasses our house like a race track. One lap around it equals 1/8th of a mile.

As we tried to herd the sheep and bull back toward the alleyway, they discovered the unique round-about driveway that could be considered the poor mans Churchill Downs Race Track. So you do the math. If one lap around equals 1/8th of a mile, then 6 laps must equal close to 100 miles..well, ok but that could be a slight exaggeration, but that is what it felt like.

One of us would get them running around the house on the track while the other stood near the gate to try and divert them back into the alleyway. The running around the house part worked well, it was the turning them down the drive into the alleyway that became problematic.

Every time we would get them near the gate they would either run right past it and the person waving their arms, or turn completely around and run another lap in the opposite direction. Finally we got so hot and tired we gave up , sat down on the cool lawn and watched as the ran laps around and around on their own.

Finally in frustration we called our dog, IsHe out. Now, he is a Schnauzer not a herding dog, but since he does round up stray chickens for us, we thought it would be worth a shot. It wasn't.

The first lap around the house with IsHe doing his best did go fairly well. We almost got the stock to turn at the gate and go into the alleyway, but just as they reached the gate, IsHe turned them around and they were off in the opposite direction on yet another lap around the house.

In a last ditch effort, Bruce and I stood side by side in the driveway by the gate waving our arms in an effort to divert them and run them back into the alleyway. We will never know if that would have worked because as the 7 of them with IsHe in the lead approached us at a full out dead run, we quickly lost our nerve and stepped out of the way allowing them to thunder by.

We gave up again and sat back down on the lawn trying to come up with another plan. Bruce kept saying "They have to be getting tired..they will stop soon." They didn't.

We finally decided that if we called IsHe off, and blocked their racetrack and the lawn with both vehicles, the stock trailer and the utility trailer they would have to turn down the drive.

Tired and overly heated, we drug ourselves off the lawn and trudged to the house to get the keys to the vehicle. Once inside we looked at each other and then out the window as the animals raced past. It was like sitting in box seats at Hialeah Race Track...all that was missing was the announcer and a tall drink with an umbrella in it. On that lap he bull was back in the lead with the five sheep close on his heels. IsHe was trotting slowly behind them with his tongue hanging out.

We stayed in the house just long enough to get a drink of water then we headed back out to move the vehicles in place. It was then that we realized the competitors had not come by in several minutes. Bruce looked at me and said "Oh oh, where did they go?"

We cautiously walked around to the front of the house. When we looked down the alleyway we saw the bull, 6 sheep and IsHe laying together panting under a large Cedar tree in the pasture we had been trying to get them into for the past 2 hours.

Bruce looked at me and laughing said "Now THAT'S funny they did it all by themselves!" I didn't laugh.